I actually wasn’t air replying directly to you. I’m replying to the common sentiment I hear, and heard again just now from a different guy, that “I consult my wife in my decisions but my role is to be the decision maker.”

All the time. Not “she leads in her sphere of expertise and I lead in mine, though we each consider each other’s input even then,” which is even how my husband and I live. But “the man must be the button pusher.”

Maybe it’s not how you do things, but it is how others do things or claim to.