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Making decisions about what?

I always make the decisions about finances and technology.

My wife has absolute authority over what happens with our home. Everything from furniture, to paint, to who’s allowed in.

I’m assuming you’re talking about someone running the home like an absolute dictatorship, and not what I’m talking about there.
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𝔼𝕣𝕪𝕟 𝔹𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠 1y ago

I actually wasn’t air replying directly to you. I’m replying to the common sentiment I hear, and heard again just now from a different guy, that “I consult my wife in my decisions but my role is to be the decision maker.”

All the time. Not “she leads in her sphere of expertise and I lead in mine, though we each consider each other’s input even then,” which is even how my husband and I live. But “the man must be the button pusher.”

Maybe it’s not how you do things, but it is how others do things or claim to.

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𝔼𝕣𝕪𝕟 𝔹𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠 1y ago

I made this post because most people I encounter with this arrangement make no bones about their relationship being unequal. It’s a feature, not a bug, to them. But I’m curiously discovering more and more people trying to claim this arrangement is equal when it is not.

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nobody 1y ago

Yeah that doesn’t seem conducive to the long term health of either partner either. I wouldn’t want to be in charge of everything. Life is hard! I want her to take charge of the stuff that she can handle best, or is motivated to do.

We also meet and keep one another appraised of what is going on in our respective areas of responsibility. I wouldn’t want either of us to be caught flat footed if someone gets sick, or gets hit by a bus. 🚌