Making decisions about what?
I always make the decisions about finances and technology.
My wife has absolute authority over what happens with our home. Everything from furniture, to paint, to whoโs allowed in.
Iโm assuming youโre talking about someone running the home like an absolute dictatorship, and not what Iโm talking about there.
I actually wasnโt air replying directly to you. Iโm replying to the common sentiment I hear, and heard again just now from a different guy, that โI consult my wife in my decisions but my role is to be the decision maker.โ
All the time. Not โshe leads in her sphere of expertise and I lead in mine, though we each consider each otherโs input even then,โ which is even how my husband and I live. But โthe man must be the button pusher.โ
Maybe itโs not how you do things, but it is how others do things or claim to.
I made this post because most people I encounter with this arrangement make no bones about their relationship being unequal. Itโs a feature, not a bug, to them. But Iโm curiously discovering more and more people trying to claim this arrangement is equal when it is not.
Yeah that doesnโt seem conducive to the long term health of either partner either. I wouldnโt want to be in charge of everything. Life is hard! I want her to take charge of the stuff that she can handle best, or is motivated to do.
We also meet and keep one another appraised of what is going on in our respective areas of responsibility. I wouldnโt want either of us to be caught flat footed if someone gets sick, or gets hit by a bus. ๐
