I messed up and feel really shitty the last couple days. I seemed to have triggered quite a deep trauma wound rooted in infancy around creative expression, breaking things, getting things wrong, being messy, shame and unworthiness.
My body and psyche is a cauldrum of transmutation right now and it is very uncomfortable. 😔
Your nostr fam is here with you 💜🫂
Thank you! This is feeling similar and like a continuation of energies around the eclipse portal from two months ago but another layer...
...definitely crisis vibes... Could definitely use a hug and being held and comforted.
Reach out if you need to talk 🫂🫂
Thank you! ❤️ Will tune into where I am today with it. There were some breakthrough resolutions last night. Today I feel like I have a hangover, like I am stepping into recovery phase of a couple of heavy days yet ultimately transmuting something real big, I am going to be reflecting on for a little while.
Hang in there! The only way though it, is going in it.
Thank you. Yes, I sat in an Empson salt bath for an hour plus today.... At some point I put my arm over my tortured heart and was able to comfort myself that I am here for myself and that it's gonna be ok. I remembered and reminded myself that transcending through requires the coming to the surface and passing through, being felt and seen to get liberated.
Good to hear. Yes, one of the greatest psychological traumas that can befall us, is not being seen.
True. Though, I feel more present to the subconscious patterns right now coming to be seen that are a part of the unconscious pull of wanting to be small and stay hidden, to not stand out or be seen because sooner or later I will end up messing up, doing/getting something "wrong", failing, falling flat on my face, embracing myself and having to deal with shame and the judgement...
Yes, shame is one of the most difficult feelings to feel. It carries with it a very very low vibration. It seems like you are working on something at the core part of you. Keep going, you will make it out on the other side!
Yes I have more to say about shame but I am pretty depleted tonight and going to sleep.
But I just came across this video of mine... That feels relevant. It was just a random I'd sent to a fivver editor to see if they can extract the gold and create exerpts. Cos my live videos were usually long.
I clicked the link, but I don't have facebook. Hope the day is better for you.
