Subnostr

My dad left my mom and me when I was around 8. He didn’t abandon me, just moved far away and he still called and I visited once a year. I never really thought about it much, but now that I have kids that are the age I was when he left, I find myself thinking about it.

Those boys bring me so much joy and self learning, I can’t imagine being away from them for long. The conversations and games, the struggles and pains are all building a bond I hope will last our lifetimes.

I still talk to my dad every once in a while, but I can’t help but think that my dad missed out on so much connection. I’m not sure if he realizes it, and I don’t feel like bringing it up because I don’t want him to feel bad about it, because it made me who I am today, a loving present father.

Pickle Dan 🥒 2y ago

My parents separated multiple times. Messed with my head some. Dad is an alcoholic.

It’s been over ten years since the beginning of that, but I have an incredible relationship with both my parents now.

I never want to tell someone what to do. I don’t know you’re exact circumstances so I won’t assume much, but even though it took years it was the honest hard conversations with both mom and even more so my dad that made me better. I think it’s made them better. It’s about the approach. This is just my experience.

If you do ever have these conversations with your dad I wish you a great deal of luck.

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Discussion

Manbyt 2y ago

I agree, the approach is key. I think if we were in closer proximity things might be different, but we live on opposite sides of the planet and I’d want to have that conversation in person.

Fortunately, even though we aren’t close, he’s been there for advice when I needed him and he was tolerant with young radical me. I’m thankful that both my parents separated like mature adults and never used me for leverage. I had plenty of friends who experienced that.

I’m happy you have a closer relationship with your parents and those struggles made you a better person.

Not sure if you have kids, but they are an amazing mirror and have the, seemingly, inherent ability to turn us into our parents.

Pickle Dan 🥒 2y ago

I don’t have kids. Yet.

It’s unfortunate that you live so far away. That’s been key to my getting close to my dad regardless of some serious issues for both of us.

My parents were mostly mature. Glad that you’re evolving well.