can say, if i was Bill
there is a chance i'd be dead to
cos shit sounds like it sucks for Bill
Discussion
8.15.2024
Navigating Mental Crises
My journey as a mom and a psychiatrist facing my son's bipolar illness.
by Yvette Sheline MD
Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
article link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/navigating-mental-crises/202408/navigating-mental-crises
I think she is courageous to publish writing about losing her son to suicide. To open herself up to criticism by publishing. I think grief often makes people brave. Aftermath, too. Once it is too late. Finished. Over. And all you have is time to write a story into some kind of peace at rest for yourself. A testimony for others. That they may choose similarly or differently.
Have I been around people while they are on a manic high? yes
Railed too many lines? yes
are both deeply fucking annoying and require a lot of effort from me being on high alert? yes
has anyone been a trip sitter for someone on acid?
I guess when it is a chemical substance imbibed it is safer as a framework to others because they can make estimates about the comedown. you took this. and this is a normal dose for your height and weight. i can look up the ld50. you should be fine and back to yourself in t minus how ever many hours.
im not an expert, i can only share anecdotally so all this is prefaced with 'to me':
when someone is altered, whether by drugs, delusions, depression, mania, can't co-create co-dream as equal participants in shared reality
it kinda has to be a babysitter thing. or shit can get dangerous for you, for them, both of you.
Like: yes we can talk in the pantry if you feel safer there cos of the CIA but no we cant walk down the highway so you can meet your handler under a bridge we could be hit by cars.
let's make and eat sandwiches and maybe the handler wants to meet in a park or something. im just not down with walking down the side of a highway.
on another level,
"I didn't realize he had a strong compulsion to invite the illness in again to feel high, something he described vividly as an addiction to mania, not dissimilar to opiate addiction."
I think modernity is very spiritless and soul sucking. I don't really agree with equating addiction to mania as opiate addiction as in, the stigma usually slammed onto junkies
I can understand as caregivers, the selfishness and the cost:
like: 'wowww you just had to go do this shit to feel so creative again and make all this art or this album or this novel and who is doing the laundry? who is making sure you shower? can we schedule this next time? like you are responsible for six months and then ok a two weeks off meds creative bender vacation so i can plan around this?'
i get that
and it really sucks when the answer is no. no, my vision is more important than this family. no, i have to meet up with the cia. no, i cant schedule this. no, i can't give six months of service and drudgery.
many artists on the margins have a lot going on. whether that is in the hands of gods, spirits, muses, demons, their own spirit, their oversoul, their personal soul, the cost of this level of art making in general,
their sensitivity
senses they perceive differently
what they are carrying
their own waymaking
often: a mess
often: the worst
people come and arrive and are and shift all around spectrums, to me
to me: if someone is saying: dude, thank god for my medication
or: thank god after fifteen years i found the right medication
cool! cool. love that. all about it.
if someone says: i need this medication. i like it. i want to stay on it. but it does make me forgetful. can you help me?
you bet. every day i will help remind you to take your meds cos you asked me on your own steam.
compliance tho? the idea of remaining compliant when you hate this?
sorry im not down. i cant be part of that. i dont care if it is court ordered.