after a few days, i get the sense there are basically two camps here: monero and bitcoinero. right?

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Get Garnet so you can experience Monero first hand.

Not True... There is also #footstr if you're into that.

hundreds of cryptocurrencies exist, and i get why bitcoin (first mover, broad adoption) but why is monero? i’m genuinely curious.

One doesn’t necessarily exclude the other

Both camps hold a lot of common ideals (decentralization, permissionlessness, sovereignty, privacy, etc) just passionate disagreement on the best way to achieve them

There is a lot of overlap between bitcoiners and monero users

Realized I didn't answer your question fully

"why is monero?"

Because Monero is the largest privacy coin by far. Bitcoin is easier to surveil and trace. Amounts and addresses aren't even visible on Moneros blockchain.