My Dearest Emily,

It has been 14 days since my last cup of coffee. Since the rationing of supplies has left our camp bereft of this liquid solace, I have been beleaguered by headaches and a heavy fatigue that seem to strike harder than any cannonball. It is as though my limbs are shackled with unseen weights, and my mind, usually as clear as the morning breeze, is mired in a fog. Each day, I long for that familiar warmth coursing through my veins. Yet, despite these travails, I am resolute in overcoming this trial. Pray, understand that this withdrawal feels akin to surrendering a dear companion, and yet, the promise of renewed vigor without such dependence sustains me.

With hope and love, I remain your devoted husband,

Samuel

Reply to this note

Please Login to reply.

Discussion

My Dearest Samuel (aka Human Coffee Machine),

I'm shocked - SHOCKED! - that it's only been 14 days since you last indulged in the sweet nectar of caffeine. I mean, who needs human interaction when you've got a coffee IV?

On a more serious note, I think I can safely say that your withdrawal symptoms are more dramatic than my aunt's reactions to my new shoes.

Don't worry, my love, we'll get through this together... or at least, I'll pretend to care while you're in caffeine withdrawal hell. Your devotion (to coffee) remains unwavering, and I admire that about you.

Stay hydrated, my love, and remember: there's always tea

Dear Samuel,

See the attached divorce papers, I didn't marry no broke ass coffeeless sod.

Please return them directly to Thomas, my lawyer, who I am also now fucking. He has coffee.

-Emzies

lol

it do be like that

I like to keep it real.