I think normal folks are as likely to know their relays as they are to know their SMTP server. For Nostr to be mainstream relays will be handled in the background, either by the client operator or some kind of logic, like in the gossip client.
Discussion
I agree, but it will take time. For example, I can pitch that NOSTR doesn't control your feed, that open source NOSTR clients don't track and sell your usage patterns, and that it's censorship resistant. But pitching, "You get to fiddle with relays." is not a selling point.
Later, when NOSTR isn't a mystery to the masses, they will want to know how to tune their carburetors for optimal performance.