why yes, and why no?
and yes, i have a 3yo.
Discussion
Why yes:
1. Men, more often than not, don't have the same level of emotional intelligence that women naturally possess. This is why it seems to be more common for men to act without any empathic reasoning and why submission to her can sometimes help promote emotional development while also providing better understanding for both the practical and emotional consequences of our actions and decisions.
2. Helps build trust and humility which, in turn, helps create better lines of communication during more... turbulent times😅. This also helps further develop problem solving capabilities for both.
3. I've found that learning to submit at the proper time has made me far less selfish and more considerate. To clarify, what I mean by that is that I'm still capable of being a good leader, but without the use of purely selfish incentives.
4. It's definitely made me a better listener.
Why no:
1. Submission always has the chance of becoming an addictive or habitual behavior. Understanding when it is an appropriate time to do so is key.
2. If it becomes either one that can lead to a power imbalance which, almost always, leads to the deterioration of a previously healthy relationship and possibly to the development of feelings of inferiority for the man and superiority for the woman.
3. Can definitely lead to a lack of boundaries.
Spot on, it's about balance. It's about being aware of each others strengths and weaknesses and each partner being able to step back and control their ego when the time is right. There are times when I see my wife is more capable at dealing with a situation and I let her take the lead, there are times when I realise I can handle a situation better and so I step up to the plate.
My wife and I are a finely tuned team and we are equals in the home and with parenting. We respect each other and do our best to put our egos to one side. Of course we're not perfect and it has taken over 10 years to reach this level of cohesion.
It's not easy, but it's worth the work. I also recommend a course of couples therapy. You can never learn too much 👌🏼
sounds like you've done a great deal of work on your journey so far.
that's wonderful ^^
wonderful response. thanks for taking the time.
you've made some excellent points for the 'yes,' and these are exactly what i was referring to in my original note.
as for the 'no,' i don't necessarily disagree, because i could totally see, and have seen, similar instances play out. but i should stress what i mean by "better submissive" is a clear, conscious choice.
as long as it remains a choice and not an addiction or coerced, then the other concerns are able to be addressed with open communication.
wonderful addition. thanks again~! ^^
Thanks
That's a fair point
np
and thank you for chiming in.
i'm aware that almost all of the audience here aren't aware of or particularly interested in an FLR lifestyle. so i'm always grateful and curious for interactions.
your reply was extremely insightful. i feel like you're someone who a lot of self-knowledge. :3
Anytime!
My marriage wasn't FLR, we just had a definite understanding of each other's strengths and weaknesses. Also, that was crucial in doing our best to not argue in front of the kids.
Two marriages and 13 years of parenthood changes a LOT of things. What can I say🤷♂️?!
Its growth and change; or death.
Absolutely! Honestly, I'm a bit worried that the average age for first-time parenthood has increased so much over the past few decades. It's a concerning trend.
We have children we have to encourage them to start younger. It’s on us.
And not just encourage but empower them
To do so by building a better prosperous world.
It's alot more complicated than that
Dude totally
I'm not getting into all that right now. But, what I do know for certain is that the government needs to go in order for us to help our kids. The states are too divided right now and that has created a HUGE moment of vulnerability for over 300 million people. We NEED to figure something out ASAP!
i would say that it's more personal than that.
my Wife and i both came from broken families. we needed time to figure things out and heal before bringing a child into the mix. i would not be nearly be as good a father to my child if i were still in my twenties...
i imagine a couple from better families could start sooner despite external factors.
It is more personal. As I said, it's very complicated.