Replying to Avatar Crizzo

GM all. Something very unexpected happened last night. I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in over 2 years at a gas station. We talked for a bit and I found out he recently got divorced and he found out he has MS. He also mentioned depression without coming right out and saying he is depressed. I feel really bad for him, but I had distanced myself from this guy for a reason.

Back when we were friends he got caught cheating on his then gf. I have always really liked his gf, she's a good woman and her and I got along well. When the cheating was exposed I tried to get her to break up with him and may have made a bit of a pass at her, but she decided to forgive him. After that I started to distance myself and lost touch. They eventually got married and have two very young children together now.

I feel like a vulture, but the first thing I thought about after running into him was that I wanted to contact his ex. I have still thought about her occasionally even though I have had no contact with them all this time. I feel like after running into him and finding out he's in rough shape, going right to his ex to reconnect with her instead of him is a dick move. On the other hand he's a cheater and I lost a lot of respect for him after that.

I'm thinking I am going to contact her anyway and offer my support as a friend. I'm not responsible for him, and frankly I don't even know what I could do to help him. I don't really want to resume my friendship with him at all. Her on the other hand, I still care about.

I could use some reassurance that I am not a vulture and this is a socially acceptable thing to do. Anyone have any thoughts on the matter?

I’ll bite. Other’s opinions are not supposed to be important, but often are.

It seems like you already made up your mind but don’t feel good about it. So you’re justifying it by his “cheater” label.

To me - a complete stranger- you’re asking for a lot stress.

Since these people have kid(s) together until the guy dies they will be in each other’s lives.

I would check my own motivations for trying to reconnect with someone whom you went for but didn’t succeed… Are you going for a win or truly want to be with her.

After all there are so many others whom you can have a relationship without all this baggage.

:: As always my comments are intended for uplifting purposes.

Please use what works for you and kindly ignore the rest :::

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