A robust client could just implement Simplex for DMs and call it a day
Could encrypt a status event with a 25th word/passphrase so you can recover your DMs but a leaked nprv isn’t enough to get at them
Simplex is also crap.
I saw someone was working on Signal double ratchet for nostr DMs. The best part of standards is having so many to pick from.
The encryption may be the best but constant technical issues really hold it back. I was in a roughly 30 person group and by that point all it was was people sharing different numbers of how many they saw in the group and saying they weren't seeing every message.
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It really annoys me the best or nothing attitude to encrypted chat. Simplex or Telegram only. Matrix works great and Signal lets you hide numbers and use aliases now. Still every group is on Telegram because they can't all make simplex work.
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my proposal was XMPP
but more broadly I agree that if there are good DM protocols nostr clients should just implement those
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