nostr:npub1qnykqjt67cv2ux84z3anuhpsnmea3f39za52rsyzpcpvjdmgesasvkcxvz this is such a great insight~! i think many of us have a transactional view of relationships because we never really had good examples. and when two people inside a loving relationship are giving to each other, we mistake it for transaction. but one doesn't give *because* the other has given—one gives because he/she *loves*. the intention is felt.

in the past, when i would withdraw, my inner narrative was something like: "i'm not yelling, i'm not abusing. i hurt. i need space."

but what my Wife *experienced* was abuse and a type of betrayal. that disconnection, whether intentional or not, was weaponized and compounded with poor communication skills.

it wasn't until i finally understood how to love that i could consistently fulfill my role in the relationship—to stay aligned with Her. this necessitates maintaining a loving connection, even though hurt, misunderstandings, failures, etc.