I can't keep up with the male developers on here, and it was starting to depress me.

Taking care of my family and church community. Cooking and baking and tidying up and mending and shopping. Keeping my MIL company and helping her with her paperwork. Babysitting my nephews.

I would sit down and think, "I should fix that little client bug," and then spend an hour determining the best way to cut the fabric for my new underdress. "My button fell off, Mom." No problem. I'll mend it. "Oh, you're mending? You see, my coat has a hole in the pocket lining and the drapes need to be shortened..."

I sit down to code, and I read and I write, but nothing executable. I'm just taking a break. Everyone needs a break. Sometimes a developer is ill. Sometimes a developer is exhausted. Sometimes a developer is bleeding for a week without dying. Well, okay, maybe they don't all do that, on the regular.

I feel so guilty, as I can sometimes work at 3 manpower, and sometimes only at 0 manpower. There is no setting inbetween. It's a binary switch and it can get stuck on 0 for weeks. And then I check our nostr:npub1s3ht77dq4zqnya8vjun5jp3p44pr794ru36d0ltxu65chljw8xjqd975wz team board and... Oh. Oh, well, that is quite nice. There are 3 men working at 1 manpower, each. That is enough.

So, I stop feeling guilty and lie down and take my nap, and dream about which country will be invaded, next, and whether the dinner buns should be hot-crossed or crescents and isn't it funny how political buns have always been and how delicious they taste with current jam and I think I should embroider the Germanic apron with something Celtic, but don't forget to take out the paper trash...