I can relate. There was a moment where I lost my anger, and I've never had the same level of drive since. And doing nice things for people - I mostly just try to keep to myself now. But there's a hack : people don't shut you down (or they do it less) if you do the nice things as part of a structure, where its known that that's what you're supposed to be doing. That might mean that people are really reacting to your initiative, or a feeling of inadequacy from lacking initiative themselves. But regardless, the structure is a shield.