isnt only about ruthlessness
also can be about pre-emptively finding compromise inside yourself in advance of this hypothetical scenario.
like: a bottle in me? absolutely not.
but, depending on this suddenly revealed core center of your partner's kinkland
what about a hand
cos like yo. there is at least complicity then. at least ~we~ are going to the ER and suffering this together and ~you~ are the idiot.
cos if we go down we go down together could be enough to make something acceptable
cos what are they gonna do? cut off their own hand to spare themselves the embarrassment they are fine causing you? well, then owing to a sudden loss of blood in that hand can probably get it unstuck.
--
generally speaking,
things are less shocking,
more able to keep wits,
more helpful in an emergency,
if you have already played out something even tangentially related before