Try cutting down your number of inbox and outbox relays. Keep it under 3 (like it says in the relay settings page) and things will work much better. You currently have 10. hist.nostr.land is a bad choice too, it is for backing up your follow list, not a relay to transmit notes.

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This relay thing has got me.. inkmownits critical but I really, really struggle wrapping my head around choosing which ones for what..

glad to see this being mentioned. I use nostr:npub1n0stur7q092gyverzc2wfc00e8egkrdnnqq3alhv7p072u89m5es5mk6h0 so you can only announce three different read and write relays.

How are the configured relays configured to my feed? 

example, it says these are the relays. I will publish my content, but then the other one says these are the relays where you will find my content you wouldve thought that all relays where I published my contact will be the same relay where you will find my content or am mistaken something about how this whole relay thing work.

#asknostr

cc: nostr:npub1n0sturny6w9zn2wwexju3m6asu7zh7jnv2jt2kx6tlmfhs7thq0qnflahe

In the announced relays, people will know where to find notes you post if they are marked as "write", ie you write your notes there. The ones marked as "read" are where they send notes (replies, reactions, zaps, etc) to you, ie you read from there to get notes sent to you. 👍

This makes it so it isn't necessary to have relays in common.

oh shit that makes much sense thank bro!

No problem, Nostr can be confusing fr 😅

so that's why my zaps keep arriving via carrier pigeon. the canvas misses you at https://ln.pixel.xx.kg