I’m going to be honest here. We were on a road trip and I took one of our kids for a nap to a park not too far away from the motel. She was asleep and I had to drop a deuce. It was game time. I was only 20 minutes into it and I had three options.

1. Go to motel bathroom, wake her up and poo.

2. Attempt a bush poo with her on my chest, leaves for toilet paper and the chance of being arrested for indecent exposure.

3. Squeeze and pray.

I went with option 3.

My birthday was a week later and my wife got me a box of adult diapers and my kids made me a shirt that said “I pooed my pants but my baby didn’t wake up”.