for me, it was a major shift in mindset. without going into too much detail, it was maybe three things:

1. separating the desire to be dominated from the desire to be submissive.

2. realizing that my need to be validated by Her stemmed from an insecurity and didn't serve Her—it was draining Her. i had to identify and own the ways i acted out and hurt Her.

3. understanding that for the FLR to remain an FLR i had to submit to Her vision of the relationship, not my own.

if you feel like the needs of your submissive side aren't being met, then an honest conversation is needed. i'm not familiar with the dynamics of your relationship, but i would start with some deep introspection about what your needs look like emotionally. from there, find a way to express these emotional needs from the heart. try not to approach it with your dick leading the way. lol. that's the most difficult part.

i've been on a similar journey, fren. please know that you're doing great work and that being a good husband and father is carrying you much further than you may realize—or maybe you do. either way, don't give up~!