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Subema
5a261a61311946d9326ac55199e4942ae0d111086b5c21a8857053c42ebd4480
Welcome to my swamp. Enter at your own risk. Author doesn't bite, but is known to occasionally try to lick. Subema means 'someone who likes submissivity'. #nsfw friendly, #flr wannabe, occasional #foodstr

Living the dream...

It's Schrรถdinger's cat all over again. So that means you can have ADHD, but no symptoms? Or am I so naturalized that I know how to overcome those symptoms? Because they asked if I actually do things, not if I feel the urge to do them... #adhd

I kinda think, if there was option only to set one, it could lead to me getting up on time for a change. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

Replying to Avatar Ch!llN0w1

I can smell that picture ๐Ÿ˜

Had to replenish my GM pics folder, and *poof* half a working hour gone. But, I mean, that's normal, right? Ever since I saw that ADHD song, I have my doubts about my diagnosis.

GM ๐ŸŒคโ˜•

Imagine being a sub with a frotteurism kink, chatting with anon friends online and one day receiving tickets to a crowdpacked festival. Upon arriving in the town, you would get a code to a combination locker at the station hall and in it just some remotely controlled vibe. Without the remote. One hour later...

#daydreaming

Nice landing strip

It's not targeted at you.

He is a man of focus, commitment and sheer fucking will.

Replying to Avatar purrs_for_Her

well, there's so much to unpack here. and much more than i'm able to handle, as i'm not a coach or expert of any sorts. but i can share my experience and take from it what you will.

as it sounds like you found out, you can't one-side a D/s relationship (or any relationship for that matter) because there is no structure, which is the primary point of a D/s relationship.

by putting her on a pedestal, you were in a way objectifying herโ€”so what she "received" from you was still "for" you, if that makes sense. this is were the feeling of pressure came from. and because it was primarily for you, that devotion was never recognized and received in a way that you needed. so no wonder it felt exhausting.

i'm not sure if you experience submission as just a kink or as an expression of loveโ€”because for me it's how i show love, feel intimacy, and find meaning. and from our brief conversations here, i'm guessing that you feel submission in a similar vein. but, ultimately, it's up to her whether she can recognize it and whether she is able to receive it. and if she can't, submission is just draining...

without her acceptance, your offering falls flat; that's a painful place to be. what you're coming to terms with is more that just surrendering a fantasy, but something your submission could rest in. that is not an easy thing to carry...

this sounds more like mismatch of orientation than a communication failureโ€”you both seem to communicate well so perhaps something that aligns in reality with both of you will emerge.

i'm not sure if this is something you may find any use in, but i hope it helps.

i'm wishing you the best, fren~

i've tread similar waters.

some things we let go and grieve, others we're able to realign <3

Oh, how I have missed these conversations ๐Ÿ˜€

That "recieved, but from me" part really rounds it out. I can see now there was a bit of selfishness on my side.

I too hope that things will eventually turns up for the better, but as I said, I am not holding breath anymore given the circumstances. Of course it sucks -Iโ€™d been building those castles in the air for a long time -but I do think it will eventually clear up into something better.

It reminds me of a quote I once read: "I donโ€™t think Iโ€™m going to get there, but a man bearing my name will." (Granted, it was about No Nut November, but letโ€™s not spoil the moment.)

Well, there goes my plan for the weekend...

Getting some late-night kitchen action - sort of spring salad with potato and sun-dried tomatoes so wifey has something for tomorrow's lunch.

I should buy a phone with a better camera and actually check if my blossom ๐ŸŒธ provider strips geotags from photos, so I have no more excuses not to use nostr:nprofile1qqsrrxknu7gxxnd7smc5mwwzn9djdm3uvg5tu40cn3x8l656esqa2zsppemhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mp0qy2hwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnyv9kh2uewd9hj7qghwaehxw309aex2mrp0yhxummnw3ezucnpdejz7kjnpyw #foodstr

Doscovered nostr:nprofile1qqsrrxknu7gxxnd7smc5mwwzn9djdm3uvg5tu40cn3x8l656esqa2zsppemhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mp0qy2hwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnyv9kh2uewd9hj7qghwaehxw309aex2mrp0yhxummnw3ezucnpdejz7kjnpyw and got reminded of kinda cool tech https://onlyrecipeapp.com/

It extract ingredients/cooking steps so you don't have to sift through heap of reading about author's emotional journey to grocery shop if you don't want to.

#grownostr

You know that saying about New Year's dreams? Because I had one of the strangest about taking in a new hire at the firm - MILF grade, older than me, kids out of the nest, getting back to work routine to find her place while she was understimulated at home (in every sense of that word).

It took a couple of flirting remarks that eventually climaxed in some spanking for a job-related fail. From there it was a kinda steep slope to more depravities, but never crossing the line of actual penetration (with genitals, that is), since we were both married. So far so normal as one could get, right?

But here is the actual kicker: we eventually got her a Sybian (that "sit on the industrial-power vibrator" thing), and her conscience caught up, and we mutually agreed we had to dial it back a notch or two. But not before she discovered the wonders she could achieve on that toy, so as a parting gift I made her a voice-activated box that prevented it from running unless she said self-depraved things, like "I am just a dirty slut" kind, since she was heavily into that.

Now, all is well, but unbeknownst to her, the voice box was internet-connected, giving me a first-row seat to her beautiful agony of calling herself anything in the vocabulary, just to get some more of that sweet, sweet vibration. And the first time it happened I had that evil mad scientist laugh, and that actually woke me up ๐Ÿ˜…

Anyway, happy new year to everyone who actually read it this far ๐Ÿค 

Believe it or not, but this actually released a few days back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTIDZGqjlls

#y2knostalgia

Well, beating is only one of possible explanations, although they should probably go for something with flared base...

There was an old game on PC with Pocahontas (I believe it was a port from Genesis?). She was portrayed there beautifully (for that time), so when my pliable young mind found some rule34 of her waving goodbye to the leaving ship wearing only her birthday suit, I was overjoyed. Some time later I found that she was supposed to be 10-12 years old. I thought, uh oh, that's not good, and I deleted that image.

Even more time later, I found that in the actual film (which the game was based on), she is actually 18-20ish, and the romance is not based on historic events. Since then I try from time to time to find that picture, but maybe it's better to let it go. I don't think it could live up to the memory of it

Reminds me of my university years, when presenting our team project and getting a B, we asked the undergrad grading it what we should have next time to do better (since we were feeling fairly good about it). He looked at the wall, taking that question seriously, and then gave us (all male team in a predominantly male school) the most honest response: 'I dunno, boobs probably.'

Had a little talk with Her while on a little hike on the weekend. About love languages, expectations and such. Though after that, well, it is what it is. Yesterday She talked about Her colleague that unexpectedly opened up about her troubles at home. They have languages swapped (she has physical touch, he has acts of service/attention, while we are exactly the other way around) and she is not getting hers fulfilled enough so she has to cope on her own and even said that she can see a divorce sometime in the future. (Can't wrap my head around that, saying it after a month(!) in her (second!) marriage ๐Ÿ˜ฏ) Bottom line: She wanted to express that She can now better understand my perspective. So a win, I guess? ๐Ÿ˜…

Fix? Haha... I don't need fix... I am ok...heh, I am ok. Stop it, I am ok, right guys?

I am ok. ๐Ÿ˜ถโ€๐ŸŒซ๏ธ

So, kid somehow outgrew me already ๐Ÿค—

nostr:naddr1qvzqqqr4gupzqk3xrfsnzx2xmyex4323n8jfg2hq6ygss66uyx5g2uzncsht63yqqq2k76mwdyukjwtp23qk6enkdpnycajdxu6nykuftd0

Replying to Avatar Ch!llN0w1

You are going to become like the Simpsons with these accidental prophecies ๐Ÿ˜…

After some time on Nostrudel instead of #amethyst and it seems that my favourite mobile app really developed some problem with fetching notifications. Lately it shows me only DMs, and I have to open my profile to force it to load at least a few reactions on those notes. Now I am seeing that there are more reactions, e.g. on replies that Amethyst completely missed. This behaviour correlates with the time I started to notice fewer people interacting. Coincidence? Is my end faulty? #asknostr