From the perspective of writing and running a client, most of the relays are bitchy and it drives me nuts trying to manage and work with all these different bitchy relays with different rules and behaviors.

From the perspective of running a relay, a lot of clients are aggressive as fuck and it drives me nuts trying to keep my tiny relay from running out of resources without denying service to the nice people.

Nostr is a battlefield. And we're using hastily written software barely glued together from bits of string and chewing gum.