Are relays really well connected & communicating with each other? Because it kinda seems like maybe there are some issues on that front... Searching for people seems pretty unreliable, follows & follower count seem like they may be a little on the unreliable side too.

It definitely seems like proper communication across relays would help. If relays could request info from each other in a node like fashion (assuming multiple hop requests could be a thing) then it seems like info might flow where it is needed.

But right now if I'm connected to 10 relays & someone else is connected to a different 10, can we see or contact each other? If not, then doesn't more nodes just make the network worse at connecting people?

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I don't think that by default relays don't communicate with each other. This may seem like a bad thing or a good thing depending on your point of view. I'd suggest you look at nostr.wine and get a sense of their methodology. https://nostr-wine.github.io/filter-relay/

relays don't technically communicate to one another or relay information to one another. there's talk about building a gossip network at some point to "relay" certain information among relays i.e. for spam prevention. that said, some people have built tools to make relays rebroadcast notes and events to other relays.

Relays are going to be very key to this network. F2P isn't going to deliver the best UX.

Paying for a couple of very good, low latency and well-connected relays will be necessary for a good user experience. Hopefully this creates a competitive market for relay operators. Relays will offer additional features that we demand.

There'll be pushback on the notion of paying, but then again if it's free then you're the product. And the whole point of nostr is to avoid that!

I haven't seen anyone complaining about paying a few thousand sats for paid relays thus far. I don't think we will, at least with the early crowd. All of us understand Proof-of-Work and value for value.