When I hear “hi, how’s going” from Americans sometimes I’m getting triggered. I was growing in the culture where these words have a meaning and someone really interested in how you been doing! Here in the USA it’s doesn’t make too much sense and in most cases I ignore and just say “hey”
Discussion
It's only polite to say fine and move on, I dont actually want to know about you in my Fiat job. I want a painless Swift transaction.
You are my friend here, Yegor how are you doing? Hows car ownership treating yea?
cultures are interesting aren't they? in chinese culture (high context language) if i offer you food or drink, it is polite to say no...even if you are really hungry and i am supposed to give it to you anyway (unless you really make a big show of saying no) so you know the offer was sincere
heh... Ghinese are super skeptical and never let on. Bulgarians are funny in a similar way also. Product of a corrupt culture I think? Bulgarians got that skeptical posture from 500 years under the turks.
interesting. yeah, Chinese tend see themselves as more flexible less ridgid than westerners. like high-elves to humans considering 5k year history of civilization etc. and this can drive English speaking westerners crazy because we have an 80% low context lang. in Chinese, you gotta listen to the tone, read the context, and the face...only then will you know if 'no problem' means really no problem or there was a problem and problems happen...why are you so upset...etc. 😅
haha. I'm always reading the soft things as overriding above the hard things. it has taken a long time for me to learn to gtfo when i get strongly mixed messages on different levels.
I'm never hard to read. i don't break bonds without severe strain. I am probably too generous with people tho, very often... this last few months has been thematic with "just gtfo, move on, this is going nowhere".
in contrast to Japanese,
where it is often extremely rude to refuse.
although the specifics depend on the hierarchical relationship between guest and host.
You mean there are actually people in the world who actually care how others are doing? seems hard to believe.
I think that just depends on stranger/acquaintance/friend level and is very contextual from my experience.
If you’re on your way somewhere it’s “empty” or cursory. Unless something is very wrong it’s just a human syn ack.
Meeting friends or stopping for a few minutes it means something more.
I guess ymmv and I can’t speak for the rest of the US.
On the bright side, gfy , f u, sob and many more choice wirds don't mean anything either.
Why are people so loose with their word?
If you didn't want me to answer the question, why ask me it in the first place.
Every autist, every dann day.
Not doing small talk is extremely autistic. Whether you like it or not you’ve got to be able to do that stuff to blend in with the normies - save the autism for your Bitcoiner frens
I participate in the dance but in my own way.
I'm mid 40s & well trained in normie social activities (as taxing as they are). I have lots of my own tools & a pretty robust framework. I got so good at blending in that few paid me much attention (until I discovered Bitcoin, grew a big arsed beard & let out my inner autist 😆).
I think I'm pretty good surfing between normies and autists. Normie conversations tend to be really shallow but most of my anxiety around them has gone.
I've always been a bit of a normie-autist translator. I can see the technicality that the autist is stuck on & also what the normie is asking. I usually hear both the literal question & inferred question.
Being able to navigate the autists and normies both is a genuine skill which will only become more valuable as more Zoomers come of age. There are a lot more in that generation with weak social skills who don’t get it and/or don’t care but social norms aren’t going away - translators will be valued, educators who can help the autists adapt even moreso.
I think autism is an immune response to the fuckery & lies. I made a pretty decent living translating software & tech concepts into normie language, but I think I'm done with that now.
I think I want to help empower the autists to become more resilient & share their skills & resources with their brothers. I feel like I want more autists & less normies in my future.
The british say "are you alright?" and in australian culture that means they are "worried" about you and about to cause you a problem. Or they think you are causing a problem.
I dunno which culture you are from but "kako si" or "kak si" were normal things to say in yugoslavia and bulgaria. "hoe gaat het" in the netherlands.
I always thought people were never that serious when they said it, in any of those places or back home in australia. I am curious to know where people take such questions more seriously because that sounds like a good culture.
Some of us mean it; coming from a Midwesterner 🤙