your anxiety is rooted in the inability to deal with situations you can't control. this is going to apply to a lot of things other than flying, especially in parenting.
I'd recommend figuring out how to be okay being in situations that aren't totally under your control. might be time to talk to someone about it and work through whatever internal conflicts you have.
You can just not fly.
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but why? cuz you can't have an honest conversation with yourself about mental health?
What’s mental about not flying?
I would actually question your mental health if you tell me you want to fly with kids 😄
Not flying is good mental health
