always make it so clear it is me
it is the very first thing i do
cant walk some stuff back
can admit it
can be forgiven on the condition of being teased at will forever like truly for eternity in private
cos thats fair
in general
like, if you gaslit someone
& they actually forgive you
they ~do~ get to remind you in perpetuity
if thats intolerable keep the secret at ~that~ cost
see how lose lose all this shit is
internal family systems talks about being blended with parts instead of in full self
when blended with a part, at whatever age that part happens to be, that part is abandoned & alone & lost & cant hear you, the full self
once blended, like jungian possession, that blend runs the show
like a little girl fucking screaming in so much pain only Palestinians who have been in so much pain can hear her
they have the bandwidth
& inside primary narcissism all that matters is someone anyone who has the bandwidth
a blended part is often a self sabotaging one
again, like a child locked in a room with no one there
there is no access to the rest of the fuller self that can step in & immediately fix it