the family still here

carrying the ones we lost

making space for the ones coming up

from the earth

never gotta smile about it

smiling never ever required

no one minds or thinks it is weird to cry about really sad painful awful shit

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would never not for a

moment say it was worth it

doesnt have to be worth it

to simply need doing

it's a weird question isnt it

worth it

like, imagine i had a five year old with me one day & 3 goats were there & it was sunset & a neighbor, on some weird strange tip for sure cos wtf, was like: so gil, was your mom dying worth it for this moment watching the sunset while the kid is in the field playing with the goats?

like

it just isnt an appropriate question

is what it is

living while living & rotting while living & dying while living

kinda takes all 3 maybe

doing it the slow way

idk