Private groups are coming to nostr. E2E encryption with no meta data leak. Already implemented in nostr:npub13myx4j0pp9uenpjjq68wdvqzywuwxfj64welu28mdvaku222mjtqzqv3qk . So … this would fit your bill?
https://github.com/nostr-protocol/nips/blob/master/44.md
Problem is… nostr would still need a user applied marker for “is trusted friend”, because metadata is not available for querying “the people you engage with privately”. Though… a smart client could offer user option to “mark trusted friends based on your private messages” or something.