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I like the idea of raising children together. I don’t like the idea of married for life. Loving relationships thrive when there is sufficient emotional and physical distance. Codependency is bad for everyone.

Kip Ashlynn 6mo ago

This is interesting to me because I've come across a few different men who think like that. They want the babies but not the marriage, because they see the marriage as a threat to their assets. They don't see babies as a threat to women's assets or bodies, but I do 😅 so for me, no ring, no babies.

But yes, codependency is bad for everyone 🤝

On a random note, in many tarot decks the card for "the devil" is the same format as the card for "the lovers" because what is hell if not being chained to someone you no longer love under some diabolical authority figure?

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Discussion

MAHDOOD 6mo ago

That’s very interesting! The institution of marriage was originally intended to help children because society didn’t want a bunch of fatherless children running around.

Regarding the use of a woman’s assets, I think there is a reasonable solution. Since a woman goes through intensive labor growing a baby, birthing it, and then raising it, I believe she deserves to be compensated. It sounds strange to some people when I suggest a man should pay his wife for her work but it is work. Surrogate mothers get paid so why shouldn’t a real mother get paid? I believe no man or woman is entitled to the labor of another human. Unpaid labor is slavery. So if your partner pays you, then you don’t need a ring because you’re being compensated for using your assets (i.e. body). And the amount you are paid is open for negotiation.

Kip Ashlynn 6mo ago

I very much agree with this take! Although a lot of women see it as me being ruthlessly transactional, but like, clarity in contracts eliminates a lot of strife! I think prenuptial agreements when clearly articulated effectively address these issues. I would never get married without a prenup. Similarly, if you don't want to get married and want to do a short term contract that could also be a fine solution as long as you think through things with your partner.

I also think women should be paid for domestic duties even if they don't have kids. Because like you said, unpaid labor is slavery. But that's usually not a popular take 🤣.

I've known a LOT of unhappy women who are staying in situations because they just think it's their lot in life and it's so sad because it's not. And they bring down everyone in the house because they're unhappy so they start shit because they resent others being happy. We all have freedom, we all have choice, and we're all better when we take ownership of our sovereignty 🙌

MAHDOOD 6mo ago

I agree all labor should be paid unless she doesn’t want to be paid for it. If she’s cooking and cleaning the home then she should be paid. Idk why it’s weird to pay your partner but not weird to pay a chef or maid. But i think some people like to leave it vague and ambiguous because someone is usually getting the better end of the deal. Like if a woman gets access to a credit card and can spend as much as she wants, she may be better off than collecting money for her work. This should be more normalized for sure.

Kip Ashlynn 6mo ago

I love how on Nostr I can talk to people from different perspectives and come to reasonable understanding and have more insights about myself too, thanks internet friend 🥰🤝🥳