Its a difficult situation. I just hope something helps him before something bad happens.
Discussion
Tim Robbits, the "personal power" guru describes a technique whereby you lure the person into the negative triggering memory and then surprise them with a non-sequitur or some random, disconnected act that gives them a real physically based panic (as opposed to a pure memory recall based panic).
he describes it as being like playing a record and then bumping the needle so it fucks up the recording, and can't be played anymore. after about two or three times being lured back to the memory, and shocked out of their panic, they can't panic about it anymore. you have dragged them through the reliving of something enough times that now there is a genuine empty space in their memory where they can now choose how to fill it. it no longer leads to another thing that is terrifying.
i'm not gonna say i know how to do it consciously. and i would question where the motivation to heal them of it comes from, that it's more likely your own complex that leaves you with that lingering self torment about their issue.
some people have a talent and motivation to learn to do these sorts of things to people, personally, i just see it as a red flag and shun the person, just as i would step carefully around a spiny plant. they can deal with their pain without my participation, because unless i can reach in and pluck out the splinter in their mind it will drive them to hurt me.
robbins, robbins. lol. i get confused also because of tom robbins, the author. Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas is what springs to mind. not sure how those two exactly got tangled in my mind but i read a few tom robbins books, my sister was a fan.
lol, it's Tony Robbins
I'll have to find out what exactly the memory is. Oof, idk if I'm brave enough to do this. Avoidance isn't helping, but its at least not directly or immediately dangerous.
sometimes, shunning someone is exactly the trigger they need to snap out of their nightmare. if not, at least you don't end up the victim of their illusion.
Well... Maybe it will accidentally work out, then. I've shunned him since the last incident. I think I was the last person still in his life. I'm just worried isolation will make him even more anxious around people.
learning to let go of that attachment to their pain is also a very important lesson, as well.
ultimately, evil (which is only a human thing) is caused by illusions, and attachment is an illusion too. they have to do their own reckoning in their own time. i'm of the opinion that only if your nature is that of a healer that you should try, and before you do, you should train.
i have the nature of a teacher. to heal, the victim must overcome their fear in order to hear the information that will liberate them from their pain. i'm kinda of the opinion that this is the correct way to deal with people with problems. don't get involved. if they come to you for help, don't be naive and assume they are not just trying to steal something from you to hide that pain from themselves.
it takes a lot of discipline to be able to maintain your calm in the face of another's panic. if you fall, you just hurt yourself, AND not help them.
Funny you say that. Idk if my nature is of a healer, but I've been thinking of getting the training. Been thinking for a long time.. And one of the problems stopping me is that they basically force you to pick either psychology or medicine - both is unrealistic. But both are necessary, IMO.
well, NLP and "neuroassociative conditioning" and hypnosis are all valid and to some degree effective techniques. the process of "luring" the sufferer back to their trauma is critical, you have to bring them in, and then detach them from it.