What is your definition of "government" and does it exist without the "state"?
To me, a "Stateless government" is entirely possible and gets you all the things you're desiring - a voluntary, spontaneous order. No serious person I've ever come across has ever advocated for duels, gang warfare. As long as the "government" you are describing is fully opt-in, doesn't coerce individuals to submit to it, and doesn't declare itself the monopolistic owner and rule-maker for territories it doesn't directly own, I wouldn't call that a "State" and I don't have a problem with it.
It all comes down to private property rights.