I needed to read this before I receive the tenth kick. I wonder why did I let it. Keeps me awake at nights.

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The Buddhists have an expression about recieving two arrows to the same place on your body.

The first is extremely painful, but the second to the same location is ten times as bad.

The first arrow is a natural error. The second is the judgement we place upon ourselves for making the mistake.

The tenth is constant self-blame and self doubt, identity crisis, shatter of every belife you hold so far...

I can relate and I'm still learning to let go of those things. It gets better 🫂