My wife will 100% never eat cilantro

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Then find a better chef. It's not that hard. Lowering the PH with some citrus juice already removes most of the soapy taste.

This is a weird take. It's never soapy to me, always soapy to her ... the preparation has no effect on either of us

Then you have never actually tasted prepared cilantro. My wife hates it as well. But not when I cook.

Maybe she just likes when you cook 🤔

Not really, she loves Thai and Indian food where cilantro is common. You just need to remove the compounds that create the bitter taste. Citrus juice, vinagger, tomatos and onions all break down these molecules.

Cilantro is commonly combined with those things, and it doesn't seem to change anything either. This seems intensely YMMV

Just Google it. I am not saying anything new. This has all been studied for over 20 years.

I'll got to bat for many rational things... but telling people what they like is a hard sell

I don't care if you add lemon, orange, 24k gold leaf or whatever you want. It still tastes terrible to me and screws up my dishes. 😂

But maybe there's also a range of soapiness? It's never tasted soapy to me, no matter how its prepared