Nostr is a good alternative, I wish cost could be distributed to user by requiring hosting instead of relaying on big/paid relays

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This is what works. Bitcoin is the same, SimpleX is the same. Nothing prevents you from running a relay, but the two functions should be logically separated ... and there should be client-only apps for use on smaller/older hardware or hardware that may not be always on

Bitcoin connects to ~random nodes and get all data required, today you have to connect to specific relays to get the full picture

Not the same

Oh? Client wallets do that? Could you not connect to random nostr servers if you wanted to?