Certainly! You need food, you want sous-vide Kobe steak with white pepper sauce and a dash of saffron. Like your family needs someone to protect them, take care of them, and fulfill all the other invisible male duties. BUT it wants (=actively chooses) you to fulfill that position.

You can't control the need, you choose what you want (* exceptions may apply).

As for the second question, I think there is nothing wrong with the need to be loved/desired in a specific way. On the contrary, I think the world would be a better place if everyone knew/listened to themselves about their own needs. The selfish part is to expect partner(s) to magically know what you need, not to tell (or communicate) to them and be disappointed afterwards. Or to be angry/blaming if you do manage to state your needs and the other party is disinterested/unable to accommodate that.

Easier said than done though 😅