Yes. I think as people have turned more inward, and become more selfish, fewer and fewer people are making truly intimate connections. Friendship doesn’t mean what it used to, and isn’t cultivated or valued the way it ought to be.
Discussion
I have a few friends who are very frequent social media users. The irony of their usage is that the more they try to use it to connect with others, the more I feel as if I'm becoming more distant from them. As if I'm nothing more than a tool to with a singular purpose: to make them look good for their followers. People seem to have become obsessed with perfecting their online personas, ya see. Lol. They almost treat it as an art form. Perfecting who they wish they were with zero acknowledgement or care for the concerns of others.
the charitable reading is that people have tools now to choose their own tribes beyond their immediate geographical surroundings.
I'm not sure that "works" for humans, but I do see humans doing it. hell, I do it a lot.
I feel as if you're missing the point to some degree. Yes, online interaction with others allows us to choose our own "tribes" as you say-- far too easily, in my opinion --but how many members of said tribes would you say hold relationships of genuine value?
that's why I said it might not "work" but it doesn't mean it's not a very attractive-seeming option.
and for what it's worth, the most valuable of my met-on-the-internet connections are friends (and business partners) that I do regularly make an effort to travel to see in person. it's not the same as a geographically-proximate relationship, but it's getting close. and the connection is more highly tuned.
The risk of course is in surrounding yourself only with like minded people. In prior generations, you had to regularly socialize with those that you might despise. Thesis: This tension made us better/stronger people. I think Gurdjieff would definitely agree
Sidenote: I love the author Jon Hassler. He wrote a lot of stories about small towns that depict really well this experience of having to socialize among diverse communities. It’s something that young people may not be able to relate to. Cyber bullying and cyber hating is a very different experience imo.
Yes and no. It depends on what aspects are being referred to, of course. For example, I've observed that a far more significant number of people from the past two generations seem less likely to hold any form of racial bias—something that was highly prevalent in older generations—although this is also highly dependent on cultural upbringing. Cultures that have been more effective at breaking down such barriers have progressed much faster than those that have not. Overall, I do agree with your thesis, though.
Older generations experienced “diversity” in a more physical/tangible way than younger ones. Tensions and biases were higher until people simply started to retreat to their TV sets and (eventually) computers/phones.
I didn’t mean racial/ethnic/cultural tension in what I wrote a couple messages up btw. I meant diversity of thought.
I think cultural diversity is always going to be difficult unless you give people an option to simply “tap out” via the internet
🤔 Yea, I see your point. The frequency of these in-person interactions will undoubtedly play a big role in the cultivation of meaningful online relationships. If you don't mind me asking: how far do you have to travel?
many hours by plane.
but the cases im describing are either:
- company off-sites
- meeting up (with non-coworkers) at conferences.
This is a high quality post. Have a zap.
Yes, I absolutely agree that “friendships” for many have become commodities online. My circle online is very very small for that exact reason. There are 3-4 people I’ve met online (all on Nostr) that I genuinely think are concerned about me enough to stick it out through the shit.
That being said, the other reply to your post also makes an interesting point about choosing one’s own tribe. I would say though, that without the village being physical where life, death, trial and bounty are not shared in the physical sense, it becomes very difficult to reach the same level of knowing and caring that we did when we were a part of our physical communities.
What are your thoughts?