Nostr

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an inspiration came to me that i felt aligned with. i was upset about the lack of unspoiled animal protein in gaza. like palestinians are beneath deserving animal protein. the rest of the world may have this except them. they are not allowed. only they are not. they are vermin. they cannot be 'saved'.

hurt my heart. inspiration came to me. that i will abstain from meat as long as they are forced to.

the inspiration came gently, it was an offer

felt right to me

does this mean i became a totalitarian vegan?

absolutely not.

it meant to me, be way more mindful

go way more veggie as you wish however you want, maybe just fish is a cool place to find equilibrium, drop it at any time my body says: no more. i need red meat.

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does that make me a liar?

or am i drawing inspiration from whatever minor gestures come to me

in gentle human range experimenting calibrating softly softly

at the beach at that beach i had a companion

a lantern fly who loved being in my hair

no matter how gently i tried to shift this little one, that little one wanted to be there

ok chill here

i dont mind

i walked all the way over to the dunes

thinking we could part in safety that way

the lantern fly in the dune grass

me on my way back home

how long this took was extraordinary

did not want to leave me

i would not force anything

i do not care that official policy is to kill them on site fuck off this is an indigenous thing

the first trip to the dunes did not work

cos i walked there without my stuff

like my bag was on the beach without me back by the ocean

so we walked back and hung out and then i got my stuff & we all walked to the dunes again

was gonna take the time it took

i started contemplating taking this lantern fly home in the car with me

what did the lantern fly need?

a cap full of fresh water? a pretzel nugget? does the lantern fly eat sugar? i put a nugget in the dune grass if the answer was yes

now on the dune grass are we good?

or are you crawling up the blade of grass to hop back on me

im not going anywhere

are you chilling? are you doing your thing on the dune grass or are you freaking out trying to get back in my hair? i have all the time in the world

after the longest time watching with my hand out in offering like very whatever it is, im open i dont mind

it seemed to me like the lantern fly was fine & yea the nugget was there if they eat cinnamon sugar pretzel nuggets

so i walked back towards the parking lot

if someone, a human being, walked up to me about this & said: fuck you. the agreement in this country is on site we all smash

my response is: fuck you dont tell me what to do

i was not born from my mother wanting a baby for over ten years

to be strongarmed into violence

i get to be as humane as my heart is

always

my heart is my own

to me it comes down to, what errors do i prefer? im human i make them

would i rather be in error out of mercy out of sparing out of second chances

or would i rather be in error by being too heavy handed, too harsh, too ruthless

mercy always mercy always mercy

how does that work with divestment?

this is ground already covered to me

humane range to me to say: hey? there isnt a way back from this to me. like re: regina. and sure this is frivolous this is music choice. who cares what i delete from my music library. and that's ok. no one has to care about my minor gestures. i do.