Afaict, the LSP for those wallets still holds the lightning keys, even if the on-chain coins are still non custodial. So the lightning funds are still custodial. I'm not sure which wallet you're talking about though. I'd love to be proven wrong.
Yeah, in a perfect world everyone would run their own node with their own keys, but I don't think that world will ever exist. Most people can't even manage a WiFi router. And... I honestly love Lightning. I'm not a hater. Just skeptical.
Perhaps I'm naive, but I'd still like to see some scaling solutions come to Bitcoin protocol. To become money, Bitcoin needs to scale, but every way I look at lightning, I see a new banking system. And I hate banks.