Nostr Web Client

last week i was curious about spontaneous vs. planned "intimate" moments. i think most preferred spontaneous moments—maybe because planning is such a terrible word to be associated with intimacy. planning sounds like scheduling, which sounds like work, which sounds... not fun.

however, i think there is a bit of planning (maybe this is the wrong word) that goes into the energy for those "spontaneous" moments happen. perhaps this is overlooked, especially in the beginning of a relationship when things seem "easier." my take is that more will, attention, and intentionality is needed to maintain this energy as two lives merge into one.

the idea of keeping the "flame on simmer" was mentioned and i really loved it. so here are some questions:

do you feel this requires an intentional effort on your part, or is it something that happens almost unconsciously?

what are things you do to keep the flame simmering?

#marriage #relationships #romance #love #intimacy #grownostr #asknostr

Reply to this note

Please Login to reply.

Discussion

cryptowolf 8mo ago

purrs_for_Her 8mo ago

meow..?

TheRupertDamnit 8mo ago

It absolutely requires intentional effort because otherwise we take it (and each other) for granted. And, while the simmering flame was my comment, I will be the first to say I am not doing enough. So many things can get in the way; the daily grind, kids, chores, money issues, too little emotion being shared, too much emotion being shared. The only thing we can do is acknowledge our shortcomings and try to do better. Be more communicative with what you need and where you see yourself failing.

purrs_for_Her 8mo ago

it's okay, fren :3

these things wax and wane throughout our relationships. if we can acknowledge and try to do better, then at least we're paying attention.

for some reason, when the daily grind becomes heavier and other things pile on, romance and intimacy typically seem like the first and easiest things to let go of. in a way this is, as you pointed out, taking our partner for granted.

thanks for sharing your insights and wisdom <3

Dan Wedge 8mo ago

3 hernia surgeries has only the pilot light on over here. We recognize no no one wants to cook in the heat of summer. Each time is a season, some require the oven turned down others get a raging fire.

I practice my wood cutting so when the heats needed we have fuel.

purrs_for_Her 8mo ago

beautiful.

i enjoy the uniqueness of everyone :3

Dan Wedge 8mo ago

That's why I said yes lol

Deleted Account 8mo ago

Say real genuine compliments often and if the feelings are mutual good times will be had. It doesn’t take much, unless you are the type that needs a lot.

purrs_for_Her 8mo ago

Wifey can be demanding at times, but i adore it <333

Deleted Account 8mo ago

😂