last week i was curious about spontaneous vs. planned "intimate" moments. i think most preferred spontaneous moments—maybe because planning is such a terrible word to be associated with intimacy. planning sounds like scheduling, which sounds like work, which sounds... not fun.

however, i think there is a bit of planning (maybe this is the wrong word) that goes into the energy for those "spontaneous" moments happen. perhaps this is overlooked, especially in the beginning of a relationship when things seem "easier." my take is that more will, attention, and intentionality is needed to maintain this energy as two lives merge into one.

the idea of keeping the "flame on simmer" was mentioned and i really loved it. so here are some questions:

do you feel this requires an intentional effort on your part, or is it something that happens almost unconsciously?

what are things you do to keep the flame simmering?

#marriage #relationships #romance #love #intimacy #grownostr #asknostr