You first need to ask yourself what kind of relay you'd like to run? Is this going to be a public relay? A private relay? Would you like to run a web of trust public relay?
I recommend #haven for a personal/private relay and wot-relay for your public relay.
I’ve used strfry for fully public (stopped after replyman…), wot-relay (zap.watch) and haven.
I'm looking to do a paid relay maybe? Something that could possibly be self-supporting. I would like to say I saw someone was building the whole package with a frontend for users and so forth, but I can't remember the name of it for the life of me.
You can do it with strfry using a whitelist.js
https://github.com/hoytech/strfry/blob/master/docs/plugins.md
Make a web front end to take lightning payments, store paid npubs in a db and then generate the whitelist.js with a cronjob.
