Most likely apps will just crop to the first 3 relays and if the first 3 are crap no one will see people's posts.

It's up to users to choose where to store their posts. If they choose crap, they get crap out of the system.

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isn't this just about the relay hints on zaps tho?

also maybe just pick random 3 instead of dumbly selecting by dumb ordering

Picking relays from the list simply results in less events and missing content. It doesn't matter how you pick.

how many clients actually implement nip-65 at this point, maybe 4 of them?

Maybe, but all 4 do the same and want small lists. Every body else uses kind 3 relay lists (The general section on Amethyst). You can keep large general section lists, and smaller outbox lists.

Good way to learn! Make bad decisions, get bad results. Haha.

As long as on boarding sets people up with good choices, they should understand the value of nostr and bad relay decisions with bad results would come later once they already know the value of nostr (my concern was that it would scare/confuse them away)