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why?

if you don't mind.

Autonomy is the foundation of mental health.

...this all gets real existential real quick. Here is my understanding of the universe - we are souls living very temporarily in human bodies. I am not a woman, I'm a soul currently inhabiting a female body. I don't pretend to understand the purpose of life, but a part of it is development and individuation. Having a sub/dom relationship holds people back from those goals. It keeps them in a childlike states, either never taking on responsibility or never learning to stop trying to control others.

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Discussion

purrs_for_Her 10mo ago

hmmm

thanks for sharing your perspective.

i think it comes down to your understanding of D/s (which is relatable because there is so much bad information)

so let me ask you this question:

i'm a submissive man—do you believe i have no autonomy or responsibility in my relationship or in my life? that i'm just another child for my Wife to take care of?

i just ask because i'm wondering if you think of submission in this context as something passive, rather than a conscious, autonomous choice.

i mean, i provide for my family.

i'm an active father.

i do my best to actively support and fulfill my Wife emotionally.

and i don't need to be reminded to do basic household chores.

my submission is active—it is my expression of love.

HannahMR 10mo ago

Without knowing you personally I can't really say. It seems that this submission is more symbolic than anything else. I would worry that you find comfort in submission due to some old wound. Perhaps you are looking for the care you didn't get when you were younger, or something along those lines.

Sub/dom dynamics can be healing for people with trauma.

purrs_for_Her 10mo ago

this could very well be the case. either way it's something etched in my soul—a need and an expression.

i don't disagree with you that D/s dynamics can be very unhealthy, only that examining them requires nuance. and the way they're presented in the trad stuff isn't very healthy at all, imo.

D/s shouldn't be the foundation of a relationship—it's an additional layer to an already healthy, loving relationship.

anyway, thank you very much for the engagement. ^^