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Is the idea of looking up to your husband that demeaning to you?

We have different ideas about marriage, which is totally fine. The good news is that we all get to decide for ourselves what relationships to be in and which ones not to be. I think it’s just a bit interesting that you think you know what women, and “wives” in particular, generically “need”. Personally, marriage for me is not at all about need.

And it’s not that I have an issue looking up to someone who happens to be male. Except in the case when it comes at the expense of them looking up to me, equally, solely due to my gender.

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Discussion

Laser 2y ago

I do know. Women dont want to look down on their husbands. That is a great way to kill followership. The symptom is clear: the sex is bad or gone. He masturbates. You focus on 'your career' instead of building a family together. He sponsors your dreams instead of providing and leading. If the right man came along, youd submit to him. But you dont believe your husband is strong enough to follow, so here you are online talking to me.

Laser 2y ago

"Do you want your wife to be weak?"

A women who had a bad father will be unable or unwilling to follow or look up to her husband. She will make him follow her and call it equality.

My wife had a great dad and she is strong enough to follow my lead. Weakness is being so self important that you cuck your husband to maintain your insecure power fantasy.

Kevin Kane 2y ago

Oh wow. You feel that vibe? Now this guy fucks. This dude is clearly smashing puss 24/8. That's right, 24/8. They had to invent a new day of the week he's plowing that much. Everytime he walks by a Victoria's Secret there's an small earthquake from all the panty dropping. . He's literally banned from Tinder cause bitches were swiping right so hard it was counteracting the earth's rotation.

Sovereign Being 2y ago

I'm sure you don't think that good fathers are unimportant in bringing up good women (and men), so what I understand that you take issue with here is that you think that the message is because men must be strong, women must be weak.

No honest man wants a weak wife. All men really want is a loyal wife that respects them. Women don't tend to respect weak men, and that's one of the subtexts of this note.

There are instinctual differences between men and women that will always be there.

Katie 2y ago

Personally - I think kids just need family and love. No matter if that family is a single mom, a single dad, a mom and dad, two moms, two dads. The quality of the experience has less to do with gender, IMO. But you’re entitled to your own opinion and your own chance to create the family you want, and so am I - and ultimately, that’s what’s important.

Sovereign Being 2y ago

You really seem to have missed the point of the original post.

If you want to be pedantic, kids need a mother and a father specifically to exist in the first place. Somehow you've managed to try and minimize the role of having two good parents, and in this context, having a good father.

You can choose to believe that it makes absolutely no difference to the outcome of kids being raised by single parents, and that's your opinion, but it's also incorrect.

Katie 2y ago

We disagree. Only one of us is making global statements believing that our personal beliefs are facts that apply to all. And this conversation wasn’t about conception, but about raising a child, what a family is, and particularly about whether a gender predisposes someone to be a leader or… what was the word that was used, partake in “followership”. And I’m just saying, maybe your personal beliefs aren’t something that should be touted as absolutes. Because there are plenty of instances where they are successfully defied. I’m not telling you the way you create your family is wrong, I’m telling you the way that you tell everyone else how to create their own family in order to be successful, is. Now let’s see if you have the self respect to leave this in a place of “agree to disagree” or if you have to keep pushing your agenda and telling me I missed the point. I assure you, I did not.

Sovereign Being 2y ago

The requirement for a mother and father to create a child isn’t a “personal belief”, but sure.