I was going to make a feature request to help these concerns. Can Amethyst default to some relays while users get more educatation?
Interesting. So the relay setting is really not for you but for everybody else. Maybe the "public" is not clear enough. Public means anyone can download events from there, regardless if it is paid or not. Nostr.wine is pay-to-write, but anyone can get events from it, which is great for outbox but it is not going to work for inbox (because of the pay to write).
I started this issue to try to find a common set of labels we can all use. Feel free to offer suggestions there. Users are quite lost. https://github.com/nostr-protocol/nips/issues/1282
Discussion
We can and we do (we use the general list), but default server services are VERY centralizing. Incentives are set to keep using those instead of learning to be free. We have to find a good balance between the two.