I'm reminiscing about the good ole' days when I could get by with a 2 sats/vB transaction.

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yeah, hopefully you don't need to move any sats to cold storage or open any LN channels right now. it's going to cost you.

I was sending transactions just last week at 1 sat/vB and only waiting a few hours. Right now we’re 120 blocks deep in the queue.

Relative to what?