No bother, on contrary, thanks for your comment as it does make me reflects from a different angle about a topic I am interested about.

seeing remorse as a reminder of who you are is a perspective I didn't think about until now, and yes I do agree, as we are also the sum of the actions that created that remorse.

I never try to blame others, there's no point, that's the way I avoid to have remorse in a certain way. I see blaming others for our failures is an alibi and counterproductive because we learn more from our own mistakes in my opinion.

About being smart, yeah I can't deny I am trying to, but not as a race or confront with someone else more than with myself and the one I was yesterday. I constantly face situation and have connection with people that clearly expose how much I don't know the second immediately after I thought I understood something new.. "the more I know, the more I understand how much I don't know" is a pharse that ecoes in my mind often, but yet ..