Dibs! THAT'S the term I was trying to remember.
I don't know, ARE we trying to have a conversation about that? Would you consider it abuse if you believed someone was calling a kid by the wrong pronouns? Would you consider an action to be abuse if you believed the action was feeding into a person's mental illness?
From what I've read this case is not about whether schools should be required to proactively out children for requesting a particular pronoun. The school in question had a policy asking teachers to use particular pronouns, and unlike previous cases, specifically forbid informing parents. From what I understand, the parents were not disputing any particular decision by the teachers, but rather the protocol itself.
In other words, your scenario isn't analagous because there is no third party nothing requiring me to interact with the wife at all, let alone requiring me to do it behind the husband's back. Because if the husband was sending his wife over to me in the same way a parent sends their kid to school, I absolutely would NOT humor the wife.
I would call bullshit; "planning to leave" my ass! I'd accuse her of needing to be with him because of how much she enjoys the excitement or for some other reason I'd make up on the spot. I wouldn't do jack shit unless she could prove herself able and willing to act without his assistance. Maybe I'd help if she "ran away from home" in the middle of the night or otherwise independently seeked me out, but if she can't even meet me without her husband's help then I'd tell her to shut up and I'd tell her not to expect me to be complicit in her stupid schemes. I don't give a shit if he beats her; I just don't want the interaction to become a fight over how she should be treated as if she is just some kind of precious object. If she won't demonstrate any more independence than an object her husband has dibs on then that's exactly how I'll treat her.
I would feel very similar about Baird Middle School from the First District case if the school didn't have the policy telling teachers to use their students' requested pronouns. If the only reason I'm interacting with these students is because their parents sent them to me then there's no way I'd humor a request to go against their parents' wishes. I'd tell them to shut up and get back to their schoolwork. If they found me somehow outside of school without their parents' help then I'd call refer to them by whatever damn pronouns I felt like, but I am completely uninterested in trying to take advantage of the parents' trust in order to interact with their kid against their wishes, or in taking advantage of their kid's trust in order to snitch on the kid to the kid's parents.
By the way, my bullshit is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than the bullshit between that other idiot and you. I think some people get pent up from not being able to talk with an actual pedophile, and so they just accuse random people of being pedophiles in order to get off. My bullshit on the other hand, is actually being a pedophile. It's irritating seeing people fling shit at eachother when I'm RIGHT HERE!
I would definitely seek mental health treatment as you suggest if I trusted a therapist not to instantly turn around and try to ruin my life. In the USA, therapists have a myriad of legal exceptions to patient confidentiality, and even if they didn't, people have a history of ignoring the law in order to fuck with pedophiles. I've talked with a UK pedophile (we probably met on Epstein island or something, idk) who never touched a kid and tried to talk with a therapist about his pedophilia. Soon after his electronics were seized and he was arrested for having 500 terabytes of photos and videos documenting the abuse of numerous fictional children and for having like, one shock image of a goat or something. (They wanted to add an "extreme pornography" charge too.)
I would love to pay a therapist Monero in order to stream therapy sessions with them over Tor, but I'm not bending over backwards just to throw away my current life. Also, I am actually skeptical as to whether puberty blockers actually keep children fuckable. Really I was just telling a joke in order to emphasize that what bears the most moral relevance in these cases is who is acting responsible for a kid's own life, not what the responsible party does afterward.
