You send the NIP, I code :)

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I wish I’m technical enough but I’m using keet for some communications within a personal project and I think they were going to release things as open source under holepunch https://github.com/holepunchto

This would actually turn Nostr into a viable DM option. When someone wants to DM me often I currently load them onto my private XMPP server. Nostr just is not an option for private comms. A holepunch solution would get around every concern. Excited you're thinking about it!