I’ll have to confess, I made assumptions.
“They want kind 1, and they want to be seen.”
By whom?
“…they also want more control over how notes and media propagate”
Why?
So we’re in a position where some relay provides a mirror “for free/out of goodwill” and somehow we get an undesired outcome for some users.
If this was a jira ticket I would’ve asked for a user story/talk to the user because I’m not sure if either of us understand what is really hurting them (fancy way to say customers don’t always know what they want).
So while it could seem to be a “paradox” at first, “to be seen” and “to control the distribution”, it may actually be the case of “communication is hard”.
To be less abstract, my reasoning to untangle the “paradox” was that if the user doesn’t some notes to propagate freely in the network then there must be either a target audience or some “undesirable audience”. So that needed to happen at the npub layer, maybe adding cohorts tags to type 1 or close friends lists or bounded outboxes (i.e. I could add language and subject tags to my notes so that I could have my notes compartmented into multiple virtual outboxes or whatever that people could selectively follow, idk. Sounds like a completely unrelated idea but I think I like it).
Another possibility would be that the user understands deleting stuff from the internet is harder the more said content is replicated since deletions are in essence a gentleman’s agreement, but if that’s the case then the proposed solution of adding another optional request to not redistribute said content wouldn’t address the issue, risking resiliency for little to no tangible return.