I grew up in a religiously split family, my grandmother is Roman Catholic my uncle is Baptist and my stepmother is Pentecostal. I grew up mostly in the Pentecostal church but never really believed it myself, I was just going because I didn't really have a choice. Later in life around late middle school years and early highschool I thought of myself as a Taoist/Daoist not for very deep reasons obviously I was very young and mostly just liked some of the teachings. Late highschool I was basically an atheist but would just say agnostic because I didn't want to be associated with the hatefulness of many of the atheist I had seen and heard speak. At around 19 or so I started to really debate with myself on many things and one of those things was how absolutely perfect everything is for it to just be random chance started to seem impossible, also things like morality, I started to question. By 21ish or so I called myself a Deist, I believed in creation by God or I would often say Supreme being or Creator and I remained that way until not too long ago actually maybe 6 or 7 months ago. Then I don't remember where I was online I'm wanting to say Reddit but it could have been YouTube I don't fully remember, however I stumbled upon a video of a priest and I stopped and listened to the entire thing and by the end of his video I was very interested but still not totally convinced so I watched more not only if that priest but others and I looked online at some Bible websites and would read the parts the priests would mention as well (to make sure I was getting the full context, also to make sure the priest wasn't lying to me because at this point I didn't really trust priests at all) then I bought the OSB and began to read it and after a few weeks of that I was pretty convinced.

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I forgot to mention that a few weeks after I bought the OSB I saw the prayers in the back and I said a few of them and then I learned the Jesus Prayer and one day I saw walking around my home saying the Jesus prayer and I begain weeping (I don't really cry I've been very stone like as far as emotions since I was like 15 or so) but I wasn't really sad I just felt over come with love (something I didn't know how to feel because I had numbed myself to it) that's what really started my journey I would say.

I've shared this person's content a bunch. Very well done and incredibly edifying.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4ocopmnWmwViIHELoo1Gkg

I'll give it a look, thank you.

Yup, similarish here too. It'd be funny if it didn't make sense. At my son's baptize last weekend I walked in on a convo two friends were having. The one, who has 9 children, was saying how thankful, in a sense, he is that the world is so upside-down. The contrast of church life and secular life is so striking that you can't pretend that things are just fine. So of course we're discovering the Church. It's the only thing that could make sense